Hot Topic #4: Sexual Orientation -- Tolerance versus Acceptance

Tolerance versus Acceptance

For several years and in two states, my students have submitted weekly journal entries on assigned topics. Concurrent with reading Carroll’s Chapter 11 on Sexual Orientation, the students write a 1-page entry triggered by the statement, “My experiences with homophobia include…” (The use of the term homophobia is discussed within the chapter).

The journal entries shine light on familial, political, and religious factors that influence students’ interpretation of topics addressed in the textbook and classroom. I don’t try to sway students from the principles they hold dear, but I do provide additional food for thought by writing notes in their journal margins. Often, these notes encourage students to stretch from tolerating differences to accepting, if not appreciating them.

What’s Wrong with Tolerance?

It is not uncommon to read statements akin to, “I’m a tolerant person. I don’t have anything against the gay lifestyle even though it’s not something I agree with.” Hmmm.

Tolerating something is like grudgingly accepting something that can’t be changed (e.g., I tolerate mosquito bites in the muggy summer because I have yet to find an effective means of prevention); while accepting is more inclusive and welcoming (e.g., I accept and even appreciate ravenous caterpillars because I enjoy butterflies in my garden).   

Undergraduate professors typically have the academic freedom to lead thought-provoking discussions that help students to explore their own and society’s attitudes about sexual orientation. The following activity can trigger such discussion.

Activity:  Where Do I Stand?

In April 2009, two 11-year-old boys committed suicide because they were so severely harassed and bullied by classmates who considered them gay. Neither boy had come out as gay, but for some reason, they were pegged by peers as less masculine and less heterosexual than their peers. Clearly, those peers neither accepted nor tolerated individuals who differed from the norm – even on the basis of perception alone. The following values voting activity will help college students reflect on their own attitudes about non-heterosexual orientations and consider the basis for those attitudes.

Preparation: 

• Assign Carroll’s Chapter 11 to be read prior to the class meeting
• Print six 8.5” x 11” pages with the following phrases: I would take a stand for this, I would accept this, I would tolerate this, I would not accept this, I would not tolerate this; I would take a stand against this
• Post the signs around the classroom
• Print out the Values Voting Statement sheet <link to PDF>.  Or, create your own voting options

Procedure:

• How did it feel to try to distinguish between your options when you were completing the worksheet?
• On what did you base your choices?
• Was it helpful to know that your personal values would be kept private? If so, why?
• Which question(s) may have been answered differently if anonymity was not guaranteed?
• If your parents were to complete this activity, how might their choices be similar or different?
• What did you learn about yourself by doing this activity?
• What did you learn about your classmates?

·                 Bring the discussion to an end by thanking everyone for their willingness to discuss such a sensitive and important topic.

How do you bring hot topics into your Human Sexuality classroom? How can you refine a lesson based on the Carroll text? I invite you to contact me for help. Reach me at Carroll3e@cengage.com

Melanie J. Davis, MEd, teaches Human Sexuality as well as Marriage and the Family at Moravian College. She is a doctoral candidate in Human Sexuality Education and is the owner of Honest Exchange LLC, a sexuality consulting and resource development practice based in Somerville, NJ. Melanie is a partner in the New Jersey Center for Sexual Wellness, located in Bedminster, NJ.